


Exegesis of Suburban Decor

by abraxasgrip



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bad Taste, F/F, Infodumping, Lesbianism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21512464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abraxasgrip/pseuds/abraxasgrip
Summary: Aranea and Alt!Calliope go shopping at Target :)
Relationships: Aranea Serket/Alternate Calliope
Comments: 7
Kudos: 61





	Exegesis of Suburban Decor

Calliope wanders through the unoccupied halls of a palatial Super Target superstore, looking for her wife. She can never find her in these kinds of stores, but the interior decor section is always a fair bet. It's not completely her fault, she supposes. One does tend to take quite some time to pick the right cut of meat for dinner... 

The echoing click-clack of heels on tile offers her a trail to her target, pushing the cart past some isles of children's objects and a horrifying display full of dreadfully tacky clocks. Aranea is standing in front of a shelf of miniature bottled ships, absorbed by the contents of one of the larger models. She doesn't look up when she starts talking. 

ARANEA: Hm.   
ARANEA: Something’s not quite right.   
CALLIOPE: about the ship?   
ARANEA: A8out the ship!  
ARANEA: The hull is completely carrackesque........  
CALLIOPE: i see.  
ARANEA: 8ut the prow........  


She taps the glass at the neck of the bottle with a luxuriously manicured pointer finger.  


ARANEA: The prow is all wrong!!!!!!!!  
ARANEA: It's aaaaaaaall frig8 ::::(  
ARANEA: I suppose I can see how the mist8ke would have 8een m8de  
ARANEA: They're rather similar vessels.  
ARANEA: 8ut,  


Aranea launches into a detailed history of the make and model of the little ship. Calliope moves her eyes from the various points of contact between nail and bottle, and her wife’s intensely focused eyes. She hears what she’s saying, she's no idle conversation partner, but some of the detail gets lost in the wake of the calming cadence of Aranea’s rambling; the way she phrases each and every word, soft and gentle, nearly singing syllables that blend beautifully together. She takes it all in quite happily. It’s a comfort she has missed for quite some time.

ARANEA: 8ut in any c8se,  
ARANEA: It's a rather nice model!  
CALLIOPE: you don't find the defects to be a deterrent?   
ARANEA: Hmmmmmmmm  
ARANEA: It does t8ke away some of the charm if I'm 8eing honest.  
ARANEA: 8ut it's pro8a8ly the 8est I'm going to get.  
ARANEA: 8izzarely expensive as it may 8e!!!!!!!!  


Aranea turns the model in her hands until it casts the omnipresent florescent lights through the delicate glass of the bottle and into her glasses. She can't see past the bright glare when Aranea looks up and smiles. 

ARANEA: So can I keep it????????  
ARANEA: I mean look at all you got ::::/  


She glances over the shopping cart, filled to the brim with candy red pillows, blankets, and sheets.

CALLIOPE: of course.  
CALLIOPE: you know cash is hardly an object.  
ARANEA: Wonderful!!!!!!!!  


Aranea shuffles over to gently place the bottle in the bright red pillow-nest, and raises to her tippy-toes to kiss her on the cheek. Very subtly, she thinks, she leans down ever so slightly to meet her half way. If her species could feel much of anything, or had the necessary biological processes to carry out the bodily function, her face would be as red as her text. Thankfully, neither of those things are true. 

ARANEA: Wh8t do you need all this matching decor for anyw8ys????????  
ARANEA: it's very........  
ARANEA: monochromatic.  
CALLIOPE: the colour brings me comfort.  
CALLIOPE: it reminds me of victory.  
ARANEA: Well who am I to get in the w8y of that!!!!!!!!  


They carry on shopping, grazing from isle to isle in moderate monotony, picking up and discussing a few objects here and there. She tells Aranea about the constellations depicted on a starry set of sheets, Aranea tells her about the life of one of the many figures cast in faux marble busts. They both complain about the patent, growing disrespect of society for the sacred, represented by some of the more religiously themed decor. 

As the shopping trip winds down, she finds herself in the alcohol isle, once again without Aranea, who must have slipped away in the midst of choosing between red and white wine. She plucks another bottle off the top to compare to the white in her right hand. Just as she turns to put the cheaper bottle of white wine back in the rack, she makes eye contact with the dumbest looking stuffed animal she's ever seen. A massive red snake, head nearly the size of hers, googly eyes wild and quietly rattling. 

ARANEA: It's you!  
CALLIOPE: it's... me?  
ARANEA: It's you!!!!!!!!  
CALLIOPE: hm.  


She gently takes the snake by the neck, sliding it out of Aranea's grasp, who takes the bottle of wine she had been contemplating. It's weighty, packed with little plastic beads of some kind, almost hissing as they rub together through the stuffing.  


ARANEA: I mean I suppose it should 8e green  
ARANEA: If we're going for accur8cy here.  
ARANEA: 8ut I couldn't help seeing the similarity :::)  


She jiggles it a little bit and looks back over to Aranea.  


CALLIOPE: i will admit that it does look rather familiar.  
CALLIOPE: i...  
CALLIOPE: appreciate it.  
ARANEA: ::::D  


The moment is cut off by the first few quirky beats of a familiar tune crackling in through the degraded sound system, echoing through isle after isle of mid tier suburban decor. 

“I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath, scared t” 

ARANEA: K8y Perry!!!!!!!!  
ARANEA: Oh I just love this song  


Aranea excitedly drops the bottle of Barefoot Wine into the shopping cart of pillows and does a little dance in the middle of the alcohol isle. 

ARANEA: She's just so........  
ARANEA: Inspir8onal........  


She keeps up the conservative dance of limited movement and generally poor timing. A creature of a lesser species, afflicted by the ability to feel shame, might find this to be embarrassing, but Calliope doesn't. She clutches the goofy snake plushie close. 

This is nice.

**Author's Note:**

> This is connected to Sburgatoria........


End file.
